Monday, April 2, 2007
Haishzz.. Dunno why today i feel like so diff and so not myself today.. Must be cuz of HER.. My Jie also weird weird de.. Somehow i sense she like abit changed.. Is it like some kinda of monthly thing or is it something i have done or something someone else has done.. I wish i know.. Cuz she's like one of my closest fren la.. and whatever she feels will somehow affect me and prob shir too.. Maybe not shir.. maybe too.. I dunno la.. So damn confused.. I refuse to believe its cuz of me.. cuz i really dun think i got do anything wrong lor.. Sianz.. Why life have to be so crazy de.. One day i feek over the moon and the other i feel like i can eat shit and die and no one will care.. Haishzz..
Many people keep saying i like charlotte and shirlene And Even one of my OG friend.. (small matter.. not that close anyway so wun say her name..) And i am like damn affraid that this will affect my friendship with charlotte and shir la.. Wth.. I just hope they dun get the wrong message.. Cuz gals after my few experience and collection of other ppl's thoughts on it.. I conclude that gals will have 3 types of reaction when they found out someone likes them..
1. Stead lor(Duh.. Obviously she likes him too)
2. Wage Cold War..(Ignore that guy and become very distant to him..) for my case i normally wun have the courage to speak up to her.. So the cold war unfolds lor.. like forever..
3. Still remain as frens(but confirm still wun be that close anymore le)
AND I DUN WAN ANY TO HAPPEN TO ME!! I wan to be like how they would be last week.. I wan them to continue being close frens.. and gals also will enrol in a more subtle version of cold war when they SUSPECT!!! that some guy likes her.. And i somehow think i fall under that category.. Cuz some ppl think i like either of them and babble.. and i seemed abit distant to them compared to last week.. I wun say what they did that sort of made me feel left out.. But something happen today that made me think the cold war like gonna start soon.. what i would like to say be4 i might not have a chance to is that i really dun wan something liddat in my SRJC life.. I tried my best to not be emo.. But signals are telling me something else.. I dunno if its me but charlotte though i think trying to be normal have been abit indifferent to me today.. I really hope this hurt in my heart can go.. I DUN WAN ANY OF THE ABOVE TO HAPPEN!!! Why liddat!! I HATE MY LIFE!!
Somemore i hate this idiot( will refer to him as W) in my class la.. Arrogant ass.. Have been trying my freaking fucking hardest to accomodate W but I cannot.. Partly cuz of some other personal things but MOSTLY cuz W sux.. Really.. I keep telling some ppl and they dun believe.. Now after some things.. they finally understood what i meant.. Why always is i realise first de.. Now my life is in topsy turvy.. in just one weekend.. Things can change so much.. I feel distant.. Really hope its just me.. I really hope so.. :(
i really cannot afford to lose charlotte and shir as frens.. i can't.. someone help me!!!
carved upon my life at 9:20:00 PM