Wednesday, September 19, 2007
haishzz.. Hectic day today..
SUPER unproductive again..
As in the self studying part..
Somehow I couldn't get myself to study..
Always distracted by stuff..
Slacked and Slacked till 5.. then went runnning till like 6 with joel from the science group..
He's from canoe too!!
anyway.. Talked quite awhile and found out more about him..
Realised that he is somewhat like me before the june hols.. during the 1st three month part till may..
Gets close to someone..
Then not knowing what to do..
His situation seems better too..
Anyway... The run was crazy..
I completed 2.4 in 12 mins..
WTH!! so slow can..
aiming 9 mins de..
But cannot la.. Super tired..
Had only 3 hours of sleep for like 2 consecutive days..
And its not like the past month had been pleasantly 8-9 hours of sleep everyday..
Felt super lethargic, tired and the lactic acid kicking in quicker than usual..
In fact, I told him, I was super tired after only a round..
But my adrenaline came, and i felt i could hold on..
Woah..
I ran and ran..
joel couldn't take it after 4 rounds(he's got medical condition so its great for him le) and I took the last 2 rounds on my own..
Haishzz.. I kept running and praying..
Trying so ever hard to block out all those emotions..
I succeeded, but only cuz I replaced it with physical pain..
Though u still hurt, emotionally and mentally too..
The physical pain over-rides for awhile and u remember nothing except u wanna stop running to stop the pain..
I guess thats why ppl like cutting themselves..
They feel no pain cuz compared to their inner pains..
The pain from cutting pales largely in comparison..
I dunno why, but
That relief from the pain really rocks..
Though its only for a moment..
The physical pain felt really is like relief..
Cuz it pales in comparison but it still covers the other hurt..
Some kinda bio stuff I guess..
Maybe thats why the physical pain can be easily overcomed but not the inner ones..
Anyway.. I didn't study at all..
Just stoned and emo..
Oh man..
I so gonna die..
AHHHH!! CHOW ZHI XIAN!! F-ING BUCK UP UR IDEA la..
Think so much for shit..
study.. NOW STUDY!!!
Haishzz..
If only..
Nvm.. Dun wan talk too much about it lest I emo again..(actually I am all the time, just that I choose not to show it..)
Needa chiong my EoM can.. Dateline tml..
Sianded.. Dun need sleep again.. Think I feel like coming late for sch..
WHATEVER!!
plz.. Promos now.. zhi xian.. promos!!
shut down that heart of yours and start studying..
Genius like me confirm can de.. -.-"
Yeah.. I AM SMART!!! RAWRR!!! (trying to convince yourself is not as easy as it seems..)
jia you...
carved upon my life at 9:30:00 PM