Thursday, September 6, 2007
Haishzz(Sigh for this one and only time for..... in this post ba)
Guess I gotta buck up for my promos..
Went to school to study today..
Super unproductive, especially after I tried to help my frens..
Got Fed Up over some insensitive and unforgiving people..
I seriously cannot stand people who just cannot give people a chance..
Can't U see behind that very person whom u hate and criticise,
there lies a soul that just wants to be a nice guy, wants to do things right..
Not everyone gets to a right start..
So why cannot u just FREAKING give him a chance again?
I know I may not understand much..
But I definitely understand how he feels..
I talked to him and he agreed to change for the better..
Its hard, it may not be fast..
AND all i was asking was for ur understanding and ur patience..
And what the fuck did u do?
U Kao Pei Kao Bu..
Argued till like ur parents died liddat..
Please la..
I would like to see how you would react if you are in his shoes..
Seriously..
You said you will never be..
But mark my words..
When the day comes and when you need help and people are not giving u a chance cause of certain blunders you make..
I will be the first one to laugh..
Arrogant people like you will never understand the pain of trying to put down ur pride..
The pain of trying to be a nicer person and not given a chance..
No one ain't perfect..
Not me.. and freaking hell definitely not u..
you won't even give people a chance again..
Fuck the chances that you gave before..
You didn't even talk things amicably with him..
U just solved the surface problems and gave him a chance..
Of cuz the prob is bound to be back..
AND NOW I AM HERE TO TRY HELP,
CUZ I UNDERSTAND AND HAVE BEEN THRU IT AND ALL I GET FROM YOU IS UR FUCKING FUCKED UP SHIT CRAP!!!
I seriously tried controlling..
But really.. I am disgusted by you and your lack of mercy and forgiveness..
Nevermind the fact that his aunt is in ICU now,
nevermind that he is cornered by his studies, his families and U and ur groupmates(the rest I never say anything.. Cuz u haven't spoken much about it at all)..
nevermind that he is actually trying hard to change..
nevermind the fact that though u said u gave him a chance,
u didn't help him by helping him back into the group and treating him like a leader..
nevermind the fact that he really tried to help by staying up to in between 2 to 4 for a few consecutive days so that U can have ur WR done on that day..
nevermind that he tried apologising and explaining that he cannot come on that day cuz he had something impt on..
nevermind that u ARE a bitch and were sarcastic and treated him differently and discriminated him just cause of a mistake that he made..(dun tell me u didn't cuz think hard and search thru ur heart before even trying to defend urself..)
nevermind U sorta mistook his efforts to try and help the group and make a difference as a leader, as him bossing u'll around..(things liddat always happen)
nevermind that u didn't try to talk to him nicely and find out and understand his probs.
I know that he got his own faults too..
the stuff that he has done to give u a bad impression in the first place..
BUT what I CANNOT ACCEPT IS HOW U CONTINUE TO DISCRIMINATE HIM FOR A FEW THINGS HE HAS DONE AND CONDEMNED HIM THOUGH THERE ARE MEMBERS IN UR GROUP WHO HAVE ALSO MADE EQUIVILANT OR MUCH WORSE MISTAKES THAN HE!!
AND HOW U FUCKING REFUSE TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE THOUGH I SPOKE TO HIM AND HE PROMISED TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER..
AND HOW I OUT OF GOODWILL CAME TO TRY AND HELP OUT UR GROUP CUZ I WANTED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!
AND HOW U MADE MY CLOSE FRENSHIP WITH ONE OF UR GROUP MEMBERS SOUR CUZ U MADE ME SO FUCKED UP!!(its not entirely ur fault.. But u are the main reason.. SO SHUT UP!)
When will you ever realise that change comes from within and from both parties at that?
When will you realise that it takes two hands to clap?
I know its hard.. And thats why I came to talk to u all..
But ALL U GAVE AS I SAID EARLIER IN RETURN IS UR FCKED UP ATTITUDE!!
I CONTROLLED AND CONTROLLED.. BUT I CANNOT HOLD ON ANYMORE ESPECIALLY WHEN U CRITICISED ME AND SPOKE TO ME WITH UR BLOODY ATTITUDE AND UR SARCASM!!
I Came to want to help and to study..
BUT CUZ OF U!!
I had totally no Mood to study..
Thanks to a bitch such as u, my work today ain't productive..
I guess the only fault me for was my lack of patience..
Patience is of the virtue..
I lost it..
But then and again..
Who can keep it when they meet people like you??
I feel so sinful and dirty cuz of u..
Oh God.. Grant me more patience and keep my temper in place father..
I know not the amount of sin I commited today..
So ashamed to see u..
SORRY A _ _ _ _ A!!!!
I promise to not doubt your intentions le..
Dun be hurt le..
U are making me upset.. and the thought of... too just added to making me emo on the bus and till now.. I AM SO SORRY!!!!
I threw my pride on the floor and admitted I am at fault le..
Please forgive me will u?
Just so sorry..
carved upon my life at 6:57:00 PM