Friday, September 28, 2007
Its been a day since I blogged..
But here I am blogging again..
Had GP and econs on thursday..
Remembered feeling devastated.. GP was ok..
Wrote like a whole load of stuff for the AQ..
Did AQ for like the first time.. Hope its ok..
Econs slayed me..
DRQ was super easy.. The first question about Elasticity was like ok la..
I think I answered everything..
But I ain't sure man..
The other part, I chose the wrong question..
Sianded.. Cuz I wasn't very confident in PC..
(the question was on distinguishing PC from monopoly..)
So i decided to choose the other one..
But I was confused with how to provide examples..
Became disillusioned and didn't know how to continue..
Confidence suffered a blow and I knew I couldn't continue le..
Wanted to change question but only 15 mins left..
Both ways also die..
Wa..
THat 15 mins was like agony i tell u..
I knew I had to do something.. But there was nothing logical I could do to salvage it..
Haishz..
Super stressed and Depressed..
Went to Hougang KFC to meet the two HQs..
hahah..
Both saw that I was *quote* utterly stressed *unquote*
Haishzz..
Is it that bad? people in sch say i look terrible..
Wa.. That added on to the part about me being ugly..
Zzzz.. Then my fren said I grew fatter..
My face.. she said become rounder..
Then today.. Kaiwen also say so..
Actually thought nvm de.. But now I guess I gotta watch my diet..
Dun wan fat fat..
Anyway..
I remembered yesterday as a painful day as I couldn't concentrate on History..
Slept late.. Prayed to God but wasn't really comforted..
Guess I needa get back to God..
Forget about gals.. At least about chasing them..(I know I can't forget u..)
Its all about Christ now..
Since I am not wanted anyway.. -.-"
Ok.. fast forward abit since tonight is relevant to what I gonna say..
Just had CG.. And it was awesome in a way..
The teaching got me thinking..
Is it cuz I haven't been spiritually strong that caused me to be such a poor shepherd..
I have been blaming myself on Patson's supposed backsliding..
I detest myself for being weak..
I detest myself for having fallen in love with someone..
Worse still, I fall in love and get heart aches in return..
Its like one of the dumbest thing to do, especially when u are a christian..
Guess, I should get back to Christ.. Really back to Him..
I wanna make a difference in the kingdom of God.. Especially after listening to Kaiwen..
I wanna make a difference.. I wanna invest in something that is eternal..
I know my second nature is to be emo.. But I will no longer be controlled by emotions..
No longer a captive..
I am sorry if it had been my actions that have been staling the CG's growth..
I am sorry that its cuz of me that There are so many problems..
I will change, I will rise and be victorious cuz thats what God promised.. Just you watch me..
Anyway, an interesting fact.. I was doing my chinese compo and the title is 如果可以重来。。
I think so la.. But the gist is there.. I wrote about how humans always regret when its too late and stuff..
And how they should be looking for improvements the next time, to ensure they wun make the same mistake..
Somehow, as I was writing the ending, I thought of u.. Shit.. In exams also can drift away..
Then can think of u.. But then the essay really speaks to me..
Wa.. What if I had another chance.. Ain't that What I am thinking?
Then should I follow my politically correct answer? Thats what I was asking..
And thinking..
Well.. I have set my mind clear.. For now.. The furthest I will go is to 思念.. No more..
Like I have said in my previous entries.. Good luck to u..
Good luck in getting ur dream guy..
I have to let u go cuz I am not the one.. And cuz thats love..
Just to ensure that she is happy.. That u are happy.. Everything is fine le..
Well.. I gonna sleep liao.. Ciao..
carved upon my life at 10:33:00 PM