Sunday, October 21, 2007
Hmmm.. Sianded..
Trying to have a breakthrough..
Trying to be a better person..
I realised and admitted after thinking that though I can argue I dun have a short fuse,
I do at times.. Esp when I am stressed out..
Having short fuse is one thing..
The next bad thing is that I will do something rash..
Make some harsh decision at the heat of the moment and then regret it later..
How many times have I done that?
My frens, church ppl.. etc..
I cannot even count..
I needa change..
I really needa change..
God.. Get rid of this sinful side of me..
I am tired of going around in circles..
Trying to change but falling back again..
I wanna be loving and patient and cool-headed..
I wanna be that christian who can truly bring joy to the world..
I want to make a difference..
Make me not lazy too..
I want to reach my full potential in you..
And beyond..
I am not even studying now..
What am I doing??
I just hate this side of me..
It spoils everything else..
I gonna change..
Definitely..
God help me please..
That is my desperate plea..
Anyway.. Three days ago, I ate lunch with an interesting person.
Came to talk to me regarding some rampant rumour..
Rumour-not true..
I dunno how many of u'll have actually heard me being a stalker.. -.-"
Haishzz.. Soo much for trying to be nice to ppl..
Anyway.. He is the fourth person to hear my side of the story..
Truth is I didn't bother to refute any of it for the past months la..
June till now..
Whats the point?
Who will really believe me if I flare up and try to defend myself?
Let them think what they wanna think lor..
Let the untruth inflitrate their mind and make them unpure..
If they know me.. They know I will never ever ever.. do such a thing..
Stalk ppl.. Oh My Gosh..
I totally respect gals who should be respected can? (meaning gals not are not bitches..)
Why will I go stalk??
Aiya.. Whatever..
Dun want say too much...
Oh yeah.. Clarified the thing with him and we went back to lessons...
Back to sermon yesterday..
Pastor Shirley really is a greatly annointed preacher..
Hmmm.. Went to Marks and Spencers and did chinese..
Didn't finish though.. Yeah..
Pei-ed Qinning on the MRT to Aljunied where I looked for Victor..
Eh.. Bro.. I am really really sorry.. :(
Thanks for it too..
Played crazy taxi till like 5.20 am again like so totally just now..
Woke up at 11pm.. Still tired but I gonna finish my OP script..
Memorise it and get the slides up..
Haishzz.. Chinese too..
I am dying.. Tsk..
I am trying to forget.. But I cannot..
And I realised something..
We dun forget liking someone..
We can't..
Truth is.. We can forgive but Cannot forget..
Thus.. Using this line of thinking..
We cannot forget how we liked someone too..
We cannot only put it to the very back of our heart..
2 ppl making me so sianded now..
Troubled.. Emo-ey.. Stressed.. Depressed..
You name it..
A fren and Someone......
Fren that I lost.. Think getting her back seems impossible..
How the hell do I move on?
I must.. But How?
Someone that haven't been forgotten..
Someone that made the difference..
Someone that I can live my life with..
Whatever.. I am tired emotionally.. Drained..
Dun wanna think about it for a moment..
Blog again at night.. Cheerios..
*At the end of the day, it is not how much you have achieved in life,
but how much you have loved..*
carved upon my life at 1:13:00 PM