Sunday, October 21, 2007
Hmmm.. Just came back from meeting Kaiwen, my dear dearest shepherd..
-.-".. My lost fren just came online..
Anyway.. Met Kaiwen for dinner..
Wa.. I went all the way to Ang Mo Kio for dinner..
It was worth it.. Sorry shepherd for making u wait one hour.. :(
Talked about some stuff with him..
Like my spiritual life and stuff.. Learnt loads..
It was in line with what my previous post of wanting to be different..
Learnt certain stuff that made me rethink..
I have to be self-aware..
And not speak what I say.. I needa think before I speak..
Not that what I speak dun make sense or have no substance..
But to think if what I say will stumble ppl..
Ephesians.. somewhere.. somewhere..
We speak to encourage ppl.. etc, and not to make them stumble..
I wanna grow, GOD!
I want to change now.. Please give me a revival..
I am so stagnant.. So dead.. Renew me.. I shall forget about anything except,
U, ur ppl, studies, tracks and then me..
I wun pursue a relationship anymore..
Let me take this chance to be refreshed..
To become someone better..
Laziness, inpatience, rashness, harshness and speaking without thinking..
More more.. inconsistent quiet time.. Vulgarities.. being quick to anger..
Showing others my feelings like emoness without thinking if it might affect someone..
All.. everything Lord.. Remind me and help me even if I have forgotton any..
All these Father.. Guide me, show me and bring me to the new level..
Being a Christian is all about overcoming..
Being champions of ur problems..
Being the top and not the bottom..
Lord.. It is Hard.. But I still wanna do it.. Help me..
Give me A BREAKTHROUGH!!!
I want a BREAKTHROUGH!!!
Haishzz.. So many problems I needa solve..
God.. Only you can help me with this..
Give me what I need.. Give me the spiritual leadership abilities..
Help me become a loving shepherd.. Someone who can grow ppl.. and help ppl..
Help me to have a shepherd's heart..
Please.. Hear my desperate plea..
Holy Spirit remind me of my promise and help me when I am wrong..
All this I ask and pray for in ur name..
Amen..
When Kaiwen spoke to me.. I was reminded of my rashness at time again..
I thought of you.. The fren that I lost cuz I was hot-headed, impatient and stupid..
The fren that is online now..
I thought of what I said in my previous post earlier..
About moving on..
Then I was thinking if I should put down my pride and apologise..
But then I thought.. Even if I did, Would you still forgive me?
twice, we fell out.. Be it misunderstandings or whatnots..
It still is a conflict.. Would you start thinking that it's a cycle?
I dunno.. What should I do?
Confused Confused.. Confused me..
Tsk.. My mum Kp me again.. My stupid Sister la..
Make her angry.. Wth.. Now keep scolding me.. KNS!!
I go do PW le.. OP scripting.. Memorising it.. OP slides.. Chinese..
RAWRRR!! STRESSED!!! I Go Do le.. Cheerios..
Do you....... take....... as your........ and...... forever.... till..... apart?
I do...
carved upon my life at 9:55:00 PM