Monday, January 28, 2008
MOOD:CONFUSED and TROUBLED!!
Hmmm..
Talked to Wilfred abit just now..
Realised that he is like me in a sense..
well.. not gonna say what we said.. hahahah.. >.<
Wasn't anything that impt anyway.. -.-"..
Rawrr.. Today was cool.. Dunno why..
Loads on mind though..
Met Jon Tay on friday and Yanyu on sat..
Talked talked talked..
They both commented that I am like drifting away from God..
Well..
Its like abit true..
Damn it..
I say I will give up everything for God, if i need to.. But when it comes down to it..
I can't.. how u wan me quit cca? Its damn impt to me.. Musical quit it? forget it..
Just when things are like getting fun and I am starting to get serious about studying..
Things like me drifting away from God starts happening..
Haishzz..
True la.. I guess I am abit disillusioned le..
Etc etc.. some people i talked to might understand.. more of about it know..
whatever la.. I felt condemned.. I know its not the best I can give God..
But.. its like.. I dunno what to do..
So damn confused.. God.. What u wan me to do?
Give up everything? Can I? I am holding them like super highly now..
Perhaps I am like going to be like Patson..
Wanting to spend more time with class.. (unwilling to go spend more time in church?)
Dunno la.. I am still like mixed.. its not like i wan skip CG or church..
Job Tay also say thats not the prob.. He say is my attitude..
but damn it la.. If its all about attitude.. Then at the end of the day.. is wan me quit cca la..
Quit everything ma.. Avail time for God..
Ain't it that.. The sacrificial spirit? But when i say that.. He also say no..
I was like wtf.. U ask me spend more time with God..
So like if I spend quiet time again..
Aint it aimed at getting me to be God conscious and then need to quit cca or musical again?
Dunno la.. I am like battling from quitting church.. not quitting God..
But just not going to church.. But i dun wan to..
its the only place where I can really learn about God..
Stupid la.. dun feel like thinking about it..
Day just ruined cuz I thought of this.. sucks..
tml got math test.. guess I go sleep early..
Cheerios guys.. Life kinda sux in a way now.. all cuz of church.. kns..
I sometimes think of just not caring.. but i can't.. haishzz..
Miss someone alot too.. Can't say much since quite a no. of ppl will read this.. :(
bye..
carved upon my life at 11:26:00 PM