Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Until the stars disappear from the universe.. I won't stop thinking of....
you..
Yay.. Got some spare time to blog.. so here i am..
Only have some pictures.. But think I will post it on friday ba..
Today was ok i guess.. Normal day with me trying to be not emo..
Not really succeeding.. -.- (as always..)
Was closer to pushing it aside though..
But its still nagging me.. like this thorn in my heart that stays with me..
Crazy thing is.. as painful and torturous as it is..
I still keep it, instead of throwing it away..
I dunno la.. Just let time tell.. I hope what I am guessing is right..
As much as I should probably prepare for the worst possible..
I dun wan to.. I dunno why.. Dun ask me.. Its just that.. I know... I won't give up..
Anyway.. studied in library from 2pm to 8pm..
with occasional outings and staring at my frens play risk at the SAC.. -.-
some stuff happened.. Chicken rice for lunch.. at 11.35am..
Walk to Track area to look for coach.. at 5.05pm..
and i dunno if i am classified as tao not..
But I dunno what to do also..
Unreplied sms.. then kinda kena tao on monday morning..
Dunno if i am being irritating.. I am like at a loss myself..
Haishzz.. I feel so screwed.. Can help other ppl so much..
Myself like shit liddat.. worse than shit..
Like i am the pinnacle of failed shit..
Anyway.. Studied lit text.. Ate KFC..
Heard our college dance song at the mall.. Nearly wanted to dance along to it..
Memories of first three flooded back for a sec.. haishzz..
So much has happened in the quick span of 1.6 years..
I was thinking about it know..
Maybe.. I won't make a good bf..
Its like perhaps I won't be able to give what she needs..
Perhaps I will fail As and be detested.. Will I?
What would it be like? Would army be a breaking point even if we were to be together..
Think and think and think.. So scared lor..
Yong you le cai hui gen pa si qiu..
Meaning for ppl like Mai.. >.<
that its because u once had it, will the feeling of loss be magnified..
Scared Scared.. but I also know she isn't that kinda person..
So why am I so scared about? I think its cause of the now..
The fear now, of loss.. and ironically i am at a loss.. -.-
amusing right?
Ok la.. stop my nonsense.. update on friday with pics.. :)
Who free on friday btw? I want movie or just go out.. :(
Will be camping at the airport from sunday to monday.. -.-
Saturday study there also.. woots.. i am so gonna achieve something this weekend..
AND I AM GONNA turn off my phone.. enough of distractions.. Yup..
Cheerios world..
P.S Actually, come to think of it.. I can't really turn off my phone.. cuz i need the music.. -.-
carved upon my life at 9:56:00 PM