Sunday, August 9, 2009
Hmm..
It's been a tiring week..
And finally its over.. So yeah..
I think its time i started studying..
3 more months to start of exams..
Haishzz.. Help me God!
I think I will just fail again.. I wanna get into a local Uni...
I wanna be the smart-er me again..
I feel so dumb now.. So stupid.. Like a huge blockhead..
I think I am..
Righhht.. I am..
I needa take charge of my life again..
And not float around aimlessly like some useless flotsam..
I wanna make it in life and that means I needa make things right..
And righht.. Man Utd just drew with Chelsea.. 2 - 2..
Beautiful Football..
Anyway.. I think I nearly died on friday..
Was in this rehearsal thing at the observance parade for National Day..
And I was already feeling uneasy.. Having a stomachache..
And back was starting to ache real bad..
Then I started having difficulty breathing..
It wasn't asthma.. It was just like I breathed in.. But I dun feel oxygen..
And there was just this overwhelming feeling..
Like coming down upon me.. Pushing me down.. Not to the ground..
But like it seems to feel like my heart is giving way..
Dunnno la.. I think my face was damn white..
And luckily my CSM believed me when I told him I can't breathe..
Got swopped and thus skipped the official parade..
I was still breathing hard for the next 10mins at least..
Saw the Medical Officer(MO) but he put more attention to my diarrhoea then to my breathing difficulties..
Reasons? Cuz I was ok le.. Could speak to him perfectly.. Like not wheezing also..
Wonder what happened if I like really died.. lol..
SAF would have so much to answer for..
My parents would get 100k in a year's time..
And hmm.. at least I wun have a gf who will be devastated.. lol..
Since i dun have one!! lol..
It's stressful to have to try and stay alive even under terrible circumstances cuz u have to live for someone..
If u have no one to live for.. Dying seems at worst a "lost potential" situation..
That's why.. Even living for someone can be tiring.. Staying alive can be tiring..
I think I am going nuts.. Ughh..
carved upon my life at 11:29:00 PM